


To Love Again

by The_Dreamer



Series: Love's Scars; The Tattoos [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adorkable Steve And Tony, Affectionate Tony, Again, Angst in general, Begging Steve, Begging Tony, Bottom Steve, Bottom Tony Stark, Broken Steve, Canon Divergence, Comforting Steve, Comforting Tony, Crying Steve, Crying Tony, Different Worlds, Don't Compare Tony To His Dad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, HYDRA sucks, Hammer Sucks, Healing Tony, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, Infected Tony, Insecure Steve, Insecure Tony, Jealous Steve Rogers, Jealous Tony Stark, Kidnapped Steve Rogers, Kidnapping PTSD Tony, Lonely Tony, Lost Steve, Lost Tony, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Nightmare Haunted Steve, Pampered Steve, Pampered Tony, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve, Protective Tony, Red Skull Must Die, Reincarnation, Semi Dirty Talk, Sick Steve, Sick Tony, Singing Tony, Smut, Steve And Tony Dancing, Steve Drawing Tony, Steve Rogers Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs A Boost In Self Esteem, Steve Rogers Needs Reassurance, Submissive Steve, Submissive Tony, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), TLA - Freeform, Talk About Having A Kid, Terror Haunted Tony, To Love Again, Tony Stark Angst, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Likes Music, Tony Stark Needs Reassurance, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Top Steve, Top Tony, broken tony, healing steve, to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-02 02:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4042045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dreamer/pseuds/The_Dreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How much longer did this have to go on?<br/>How much more could he bear?<br/>He couldn't do anything.<br/>The pain only grew.</p><p>Steve sighed, his long and slender fingers tracing the newest, finely printed addition on his arm, rereading the words that continued to stab at his heart over and over again. He didn't know why he kept reading it over and over again.</p><p>
  <em>Don't leave me...</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [E-chan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=E-chan), [Emma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma/gifts), [thesleepdeprived](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesleepdeprived/gifts).



> # IMPORTANT!
> 
>  
> 
> **Author's Note**  
> 
> 
> Okie, so yus. I'd like to thank my friend, Becca (whom I think has an account on here, I just have to find her) for this, because hey, she somewhat inspired the new AU I thought up of! I'd also like to thank E-chan, another one of my friends who helped me think of this and helped me with the title, tags, and everything that got me to start this story up and get it running. Also, Emma, for getting me into Marvel and the Stony/Superhusbands ship in the first place. So, yeah. XD Ah, that's it for now. Thank you!~ Have fun reading my story!~
> 
>  
> 
> **AU Explanation**  
> 
> 
> Okay, so the AU is that when you meet your soulmate, the person you were meant to be with, just that person you were made for, nothing really happens. You wouldn't know. But if your heart wasn't pure enough, if you were deemed to not deserve to meet your soulmate, you, your soulmate, or both would die. And you were _always_ there to watch them die, or kill them yourself. You would always meet your soulmate before you died in every life you were born into. You would keep everything that defined you to the next life, always the same person. However, the decisions you made were your choice, so your life would change according to what you did. Also, at the last moment, just before the death of your soulmate or you, both would know the other had been their soulmate. Because the last words the other person said to you would be engraved into your body in small neat black print. And you would carry it with you for all your lives, and the sheer agony of losing your soulmate would never leave you. Then, you both were reborn, doomed to continue this cycle over and over again until you were deemed to deserve meeting and having your happily ever after with your soulmate. However, time does run out. The pain that stays with you when you lose your soulmate continues to get worse each time you fail, until one day, the pain is too much to bear in your next life, and you dissolve; forever lost. Your entire being; your essence/your soul ceases to exist completely. However, when you are deemed to be worthy of finding your soulmate, once you find them and fall in love with them, and the feeling is mutual, a tattoo will appear on your neck, inscribing your soulmate's name onto your body. When you find your soulmate, you live happily ever after with them and die. You are then reborn again, but since you found your soulmate already, your soulmate's name is still on your neck, just hidden. It'll appear as soon as you meet your soulmate. No pain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts out with back during World War II. Steve is given the super serum, and he becomes a super soldier, but instead of Peggy, it's Tony who's gonna be there. And Howard will still be a scientist there, but he'll be older than he is depicted in the movies. So, he'll still be Tony's father! ~~And Tony would be younger. Around Steve's age. About 25?~~ Anyway. Enjoy! ~~By the way, Steve will die when he dunks the plane into the sea. Also, Bucky does not get kidnapped in this AU, but they do go out and complete missions.~~

_Oh my God... What am I getting myself into?_ Steve thought with a groan, shifting uncomfortably. He was being scrutinized by a certain brunette about his age. The other's milky chocolate brown eyes scoured him from top to bottom, his eyebrow raised. When he finally spoke, his voice was a soft drawl. "And what, pray tell, do we have here?" It would have sounded like an innocent question coming from anyone else, but this man managed to make it sound like Steve was the last thing he would have even considered human.

Steve immediately disliked Tony, from the very tip top of his brown locks all the way down to his hidden toes that were buried in military boots. Okay, maybe Steve was a little more scrawny than anyone else, a lot shorter too. But his bravery and determination outshone the others. Which, at the moment, the other male really couldn't see. After one more moment of uncomfortable silence, the other male turned on his heels to look at the other recruits, leaving Steve to grumble under his breath.

"Listen up! You're at war now! Pay attention, and learn how to do things fast, and maybe we can have you home in one piece! Now move your lazy asses!" A command was barked out, which sent things into a lurching motion, everyone hurrying and scrambling to do what was wanted and ordered from them. Everything fell into a routine after a while, and Steve got sort of adapted to the system of waking up, eating, training, then going back to sleep. He was exhausted after training everyday, and although he did his best, he still proved to be unable to catch up to the others.

Every day, he had to go through the humiliation of the man he now disliked with a passion smirking at him after practice, shaking his head at him. A flush would dust his face, and he'd (attempt) to stomp off back to his bunk. He hadn't bothered to even get his name. However, one day, when training had ended earlier than usual, Steve was sprawled out on his bunk, reading a book quietly. He heard someone come in, and lifted his head to see who it was, only to feel another blush fighting to show on his face when he saw it was the smirking brunette. He looked back down to his book, but jumped slightly when the said man made his way over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

"What do you want?" Steve said sourly, staring down at the black print, when the man sitting on the bed threw back his head and laughed. He stopped after a bit, chuckling.

"You're lighting up like a beacon at night." The man said casually, and Steve flushed even more, scowling now.

"If you've come to jeer at me, I'd appreciate it if you left." He said tiredly, and the brunette man smirked again, leaning in with his eyebrow raised.

"Do you really want me to go?"

"Yes." Steve replied immediately, and caught the somewhat surprised amusement and interested expression flash through the man's face in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to stare at the other man, but felt frozen as soon as the brunette met his gaze. He felt awfully self conscious as he was stared at by the other man's smoldering gaze. His skin felt hot as their gaze was finally broken, but the said man only scanned his frail body once more.

"Name's Tony." He finally said in a conversational tone, and as Steve opened his mouth to answer grudgingly what his name was, Tony cut him off. "Nice to meet you, Steve." He grinned at the blonde man's surprised expression. How had he known...? Steve swallowed, frowning for a moment.

"Yeah..." He managed to dredge up a response in his muddled mind, wondering why Tony had taken an interest in him. The whole time he was in the camp, training, he had spotted Tony always staring at him, sure, smirking, jeering, rolling his eyes at him, but always staring. Sometimes, rarely, when he caught Tony by surprise, he saw him just staring at him with his intense dark eyes for a split second before the man arranged his stare into a know it all arrogant smirk. Now that Tony was up close, Steve couldn't help but study him.

He had a tall frame, but wasn't too tall, just the right height, with chocolate brown locks that matched his dark eyes, a hint of a beard hugging his jawline. He was broad shouldered, though not too much, and if Steve was being honest with himself, he had to admit, Tony was kind of hot. At that thought, the blonde suddenly flushed even more, ducking his head down to look away. Why was he thinking like this? Besides, he didn't know if Tony swung _that_ way too. He was soon jerked out of his thoughts by the same lazy, drawling voice.

"So, this your first life too?" Tony said softly, and Steve blinked, furrowing his eyebrows confusedly before he realized what he meant. He gave a small nod, rubbing his arm softly. No tattoos or black ink of any kind were marring his skin, which meant this was his first life; the first chance he had to meet his soulmate. He wondered briefly on who it could be. Would she (or he) have blonde hair like him? Would they find his slender and sprightly frame okay to deal with? "Yeah... Well... Me too." Tony's voice interrupted him once again. Grudgingly, he decided to cautiously venture into the mindset of Tony.

"First life...? Huh... Well, that's a coincidence..." Steve replied softly, closing his book. Tony nodded, then tilted his head to read the cover of the book. Realizing too late what Tony was doing, Steve desperately tried to cover the book's title, but it was too late. Tony started to laugh once more, and he slapped Steve's back. The blonde flushed and tensed at the same time, feeling the warmth from the hand placed between his shoulder blades seep through his thin shirt and onto his skin.

"Oh my fuck, you read romance novels, huh? That's a good one." Tony said finally after he finished guffawing, wiping the tears from his eyes. His laughter hadn't been mocking or anything for once, more like pleasantly surprised. With a huff, the blue eyed American man buried his face into his pillow, attempting to cool his face.

"Are you done laughing?" He asked flatly, and Tony shot him an amused look.

"Can't hear you with your face shoved into the pillow, golden boy."

Steve lifted his head, attempting and failing miserably to glare at him, but his flush grew more prominent. "I asked if you were done laughing. And don't call me that." The addressed brunette again chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I'm done laughing. Not." Tony snarked, bursting out into more peals of merry laughter. Steve slapped his book shut, his face burning red with the mortified blush as he ground his teeth together audibly, then got up with it tucked into the crook of his arm, starting to storm off.

"Woah! Wait, Steve!" Tony hurried after him, snagging his elbow and gently jerking him to a stop, and Steve attempted to yank his arm away from Tony's touch, although the warmth he felt from the brunette made him want to lean in close and snuggle up to him; never letting go. Steve snapped out of his thoughts, shocked at himself. He didn't get a chance to dwell on it much longer, because Tony sheepishly smiled.

"I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to come off as rude, or get us off on the wrong foot; again." Tony admitted, and Steve looked up at him, raising an eyebrow, confused. He clutched his book tighter against him. He gave a curt nod, sighing. "Let's start over. I'm Anthony Edward Stark, usually referred to as Tony, and I'm an asshole most of the time." He said ruefully, his hand sticking out to shake Steve's. The blonde couldn't help but crack a smile, and replied.

"I'm Steven Grant Rogers, otherwise called Steve or Stevie for short, and yes, I noticed." He said in a matter of fact tone, taking the offered hand. Tony was stunned for a moment, before he cracked up in another gale of laughter, letting go of the blonde man's hand, nodding his approval.

"Ah, I have a feeling we'll be called the sassy duo around camp soon. Me, I'm not much of a surprise, but you, golden boy? Huge surprise. You can actually snark! What next? Cursing?" The brunette gasped dramatically, a hand pressing to his chest, but his milky chocolate eyes gleamed with amusement. Steve shook his head, musing dryly.

"You should god damn know I can fucking cuss if I wanted to." Tony's eyes widened even more, and his grin only grew and grew.

"There we go! Golden Boy's got some spunk! Hah! Imagine that!"

"Well, Mr. Stark, scoot your know it all ass out of my sight, please. I've got to go see Howard." Steve mused, his lips quirking up at the corners.

"Ah. Rude! I'm starting to rub off on you, Golden Boy!"

"You wish, Stark."

"Oh, yes, totally Steve. I would love to rub against you." Tony wriggled his eyebrows suggestively, catching Steve off guard, and after a stunned moment, the blonde burst out into laughter at the obviously perverted choice of words. The man who was the very cause of the American's stomach feeling like it would bust open only grinned as he watched him. But then, realization crossed his face, and he frowned, eyes fixating on Steve. "Did you say Howard...?" His somber tone caused the other man to stop laughing, and tilt his head curiously.

"Yes..." He said cautiously, before he realized as Tony's face grew dark, and the former humor and joking manner was wiped clear off him. His fists were clenching and unclenching, his knuckles pale. Howard Stark... Tony Stark. It all made sense. And it seemed like Tony was _not_ on good terms with his father.

"And pray tell... Why are you going to him... This late into the night?" Tony's voice was strained and low, almost snarling out the words as his dark eyes grew diamond hard. Steve was greatly confused, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Um... We were just going to talk about something." Tony barked out a laugh, and it couldn't have been any colder or more mirthless.

"Talk? Heh. Since when has good old dad just wanted to _talk_? Yeah right. Looks like he's got his claws set into you as well, Steve. What do you see in him? You must know, considering you're his latest boy toy. Enlighten me." Tony jeered, his teeth gritting, and Steve stiffened to the blows to his pride, and he drew back like a whiplash had encircled his heart. That hurt more than it should have.

"Well. He's wonderful to me, and I love it when he fucks me. He's good in bed, smart, and brilliant. Oh, and on top of that, he's not an asshole as much as his son!" Steve replied as coldly as he could and shrugged. Any other time, he would have been horrified at his crude language, but now, he was reeling from too much hurt to care. That was a effective blow to his already low self esteem, and although he wasn't interested in Howard, it still hurt to hear that no one would want him unless he was a slut. That, and the fact that the statement had come from someone he was attracted to and interested in. That hurt. But he immediately regretted what he said when he saw a flash of deep pain flash across Tony's face before it disappeared. Of course. Already, Steve's perceptive eye had guessed what got under the other man's skin. Tony could brush off any insult, but being compared to his father did it.

Maybe he shouldn't have said that. But Steve was too wounded to care to apologize or take back his words. He turned on his heel, already tired of their "supposed" friendship. He could already see things would be a lot easier for him during the upcoming years if he ignored Tony from now on, preferably until they went their separate ways. Realization must have finally reached Tony to slap him in the face, and the full effect of the words he had spat out at Steve only a few minutes ago sunk in. Tony's mouth popped into a small 'o' shape, and he whirled around, trying to catch up to Steve.

 _Oh my god, I'm such a fuck up. I already screwed up once... What the hell, Stark?_ Tony snapped at himself internally. He had truly wanted to become friends with Steve, but thanks to his presuming brain that had no filter (to make matters worse) had now gone off and done the forbidden. Jesus fucking Christ, Tony knew Steve wasn't like that. Anyone could tell he was a modest and hellishly sincere person; the complete opposite of the fucked up scumbag Tony was. He'd sincerely and seriously screwed it all up, thank you very much. He'd just called Steve a fucking prostitute/slut that was whoring for his father. Hell, he didn't even know how old he was, just that he was hellishly old.

If Tony was being honest to himself, he was growing rather possessive over the blonde American that fascinated him for unknown reasons. Well, the first time he had seen him, he was near shocked to death when his eyes landed on a scrawny, albeit really cute kid in the god forsaken army. Tony had known right off the bat Steve was special. He didn't know what made him think Steve was so special, and he desperately wanted to know. He didn't know why, but it had taken quite a large amount of guts to even approach him. He was running out of time, and he had screwed up the chances he had before; which was no surprise. Back to subject, Tony was tired of hiding in his father's shadows, and wanted something that was totally, completely, all the way _his_ and his _only_. And he wanted Steve. He didn't want to share Steve with anyone.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry Steve. I didn't mean to lash out like that." Tony's shoulders slumped, and he tried to grab his arm again, only for it to be yanked away harshly. His shoulders slumped, and he bit his bottom lip. He had no idea why it hurt so _badly_ to be rejected by Steve. "Let me explain... Please, Steve. He tried to keep the pain and the wobble out of his voice as he half plead and half whispered to Steve. The blonde hesitated, then gave a terse nod, turning to Tony.

Tony was quiet for a while. He'd never talked to anyone about his father before, but he felt like he could trust Steve... Without him judging or anything. Like he would understand. "All my life I've lived in my dad's shadows, always _his_ legacy, _his_ son, _his_ everything. It just frustrates the hell out of me, how everyone compares me to him, and only sees me as another Howard... But I'm not him... Sometimes I think maybe that really is all I'm worth." The brunette looked at Steve with a slightly vulnerable look in his eyes, and the other man's heart immediately went soft.

"No, Tony, you're worth more. You make your own choices, live your own life." Steve said slowly, and Tony blinked at his words. A slow grin stretched across his face and his eyes goofily twinkled.

"Thanks, Steve." The blonde man chuckled, shaking his head, before rolling his eyes.

"You're welcome, you goofball. But I still need to talk to Howard about a few things, okay? Nothing personal." Steve added quickly, looking away from the other man's pout. Seriously, he didn't know how, but Tony's pout reminded him of a whining puppy.

Later on in the week, it had been raining, and they trained in the downpour, getting soaked to the skin, and the moment Steve had wearily stepped into the barracks, alone as usual, he had burst out into laughter. Tony was pouting and brooding near Steve's bunk, shivering and dripping wet. Not that Steve was much better, but at least he didn't look like Tony... No, he'd never be able to look as cute as Tony had that day. Tony wet was like a cat that had been dropped into a tub full of water, pieces of hair sticking out and mussed all over the place. Secretly, Steve loved rainy days the best. It always made the brunette very cuddly and clingy, and usually after they changed, Tony slipped onto the bunk with Steve, huddling under the sheets as he attempted to get warmer but sticking as close as he could to the blonde. He fell asleep like that often, and the blonde usually ended up secretly sketching the other.

It went on and on like that for a few more weeks, and the weeks turned to months. Steve and Tony now had a little unspoken and unofficial, yet done everyday schedule of meeting after training in the barracks, cracking jokes, just talking about themselves, hobbies, parents, family, everything that came into mind. Sure, they argued sometimes, but serious arguments were rare. Tony became Steve's close friend and confidant, and by now, the brunette felt like he had known Steve for years instead of months. He couldn't really imagine life without him now. It also worried him to hell when the blonde would get into one of his coughing fits during training, but the blonde would wave him off determinedly, and like a little stubborn shit he was- Tony thought fondly -he'd make it all on his own. They'd also learned that they both were interested in men and woman. (A huge relief for Steve and Tony both.)

It was a sunny day, and much to Tony's absolute... delight, that meant one thing. More training. And, as he predicted, everyone was made to train and do harder drills than usual. However, when a sudden grenade was thrown into their midst, everything screeched to a halt. Tony could only stare at the bomb as it landed quite near him, time slowing. Panic gripped him in its vice like grip, but not because he was in the grenade's direct path, but because of Steve. He could get hurt.

However, just as he opened his mouth to shout, a flash of blonde hair and a small body shoved him out of the bomb's way in a split second, and wrapped itself around the bomb. He recognized it was Steve in another fraction of a second, and he felt a scream try to claw itself out of his throat, but nothing happened. After a short silence with Steve still not dead, the said man gingerly and calmly got up as if he did this everyday, and dusted himself off. "It was a dud, false alarm people." He said as he glanced back at the false grenade, and Tony just stared at him in complete disbelief. Training went on as if nothing had happened, although everyone seemed to have gained some new found respect for Steve- except for some asshole who _still_ thought he was better than Steve, much to Tony's disbelief- he hadn't seen him jump to sacrifice himself and take one for the team. He'd run with his tail between his legs, metaphorically speaking.

Immediately after they were dismissed from training after, the brunette forced himself to move, suddenly hugging Steve so tightly, the blonde man thought he was going to pass out, gasping, patting the man's back, whether in comfort or an attempt to stop him, Tony didn't know, nor did he care. "You fucking asshole, you could have died!" Tony felt like he had just swallowed his tongue. It felt awkward and clumsy in his mouth; dry. "What the hell happened to your better judgement?!? What happened to not being _stupid_ , you raving lunatic?! _You gave me a fucking heart attack, Steve!_ " He snapped, shaking the blonde by his shoulders after he had finished inspecting him for injuries. Steve only sheepishly grinned, shrugging under his friend's hands.

"I can't exactly _not_ do anything when there's a grenade rolling around camp. Plus, you were in it's direct path. I couldn't let that happen." Steve admitted, frowning, and of course, at his sweet words, the raving chocolate eyed man finally stopped his frantic and fevered rant, staring and gaping at the blonde. His heart swelled, climbing to his throat again, skipping a few beats. God damn it. Tony swallowed harshly, his adam's apple bobbing.

"Steve, I'm not worth it." When Tony could finally speak, those were the first five words out of his mouth, and although he opened his mouth to say more, Steve cut through each time before he could finish one sentence.

"Yes you are." Steve gave Tony a long hard glare, which was totally not fair. It was awfully cute.

"I'm really--"

"You are."

"--not someone you--

"Tony."

"--want to risk your--"

"Tony."

"-- _life_ for, Steve, because--"

" **Tony.** "

"--I'm not worth half of you and--"

" **Anthony Edward Stark** , one more word from you, and I swear to good fucking God, I'll--"

"--why would yo--? Huh? Oh Jesus _Christ_ , Rogers! I just made you swear!"

"...Of course that's what you chose to fucking focus on. Well, Stark, you better listen up to what I'm saying now and take it seriously, or else I'll find a way to take the concept and shove it up your sorry ass, or cram it down your throat. You choose. Got it?"

A nod of surprise was all Tony could offer to Steve, struck speechless at the snarling tone Steve had snapped out the last few sentences in.

"Alright, Stark, you ass-hat. You're my first friend here, and are still the best friend I met in camp. You are fucking worth it, so deal with it." Steve said, his glare still firm and pressuring. His intense blue eyes helped him, and although Steve was shorter than Tony, the other man had never felt smaller.

"...Fine. Whatever you say, you stubborn ass piece of shit."

They went on these type of games, and the blonde man actually cracked a half smile.

"Well then, Mr. Hypocrite. Aren't you supposed to be the king of stubbornness?"

"Not when you're around. You're the stubbornest person I will ever meet all my life."

Steve chuckled at that, shaking his head, but Tony's grin faded into a dark frown when he saw someone coming from behind the chuckling man in front of him. Curious, the blonde turned, only to spot Dr. Abraham Erskine, the person who had helped get him into the army in the first place. His expression brightened as he waved to the nearing doctor.

"Dr. Erskine! It's been a while! How have you been, sir?" Steve asked, holding his hand out to shake, grinning. The doctor smiled warmly, shaking the outstretched hand.

"Hello, Steve. Tony." The doctor politely greeted the brunette, who only scowled at him with a fierce anger suddenly lighting up his eyes. He knew what he was here for, and he was about to politely tell the doctor to fuck off, and hopefully fuck himself, and to forget it. But before he could say anything, Erskine had already engaged Steve into a conversation where the blonde was actively listening to.

Fuck. This was bad.

"Dr. Erskine, with all do respect, I feel the urge to tell you to kindly fuck off and leave Steve alone? He's not going to be your lab rat. Not on my watch." Tony's voice was hard, a growl embedded deep in his words. For heaven's sake, they hadn't even tested the damn serum, and they didn't know how it would turn out, and they were NOT going to test it on Steve.

"Tony!" Steve's sharp voice cut him off. The blonde turned back to the doctor, smiling politely. "What were you saying, Dr. Erskine?"

"Well, Rogers," Said the doctor, tilting his head, ignoring the fuming Tony. "How you would you like to be reborn?"

\------------------------------

It had all started from there. And here Steve was... After multiple successful missions, and the fight against Red Skull ended with Steve on the winning side, things looked pretty good. Steve had sort of avenged anyone who had died in the hands of Red Skull, and Dr. Erskine. And Bucky... God, how he missed his best friend. How it had hurt when he died. Except for one problem.

It only took Steve a split second to realize the jet was heading closer and closer to New York with no doubt. It also only took him a moment to come to a conclusion; he'd have to land the jet in water. Fast. He steeled himself, trying to keep his emotions at bay, and kept the plane steady. When he spoke through the transmission to Tony, his voice was a lot more calm and collected than he felt. "Tony, I'm going to have to take the jet down into the waters."

"No, Steve, stop right there, you are not allowed to take any action, or I swear to fucking God, I'm not talking to you for a god damn month. We can figure this out, don't do anything fucking stupid, Rogers." Tony immediately snapped out, his hands clenching into fists. This could not be happening. They hadn't come this far for Steve to just die. They hadn't triumphed over Red Skull only to lose their hero. It wasn't worth it. They were about to lose the one man that _deserved_ to live.

"Tony, there's no other way, and you know it. If I let it go any farther, it's going to fly right over New York, and a lot of people are going to die. This is my choice, Tony." The brunette's heart was breaking, and at that moment, Tony felt something irreparable shatter inside of him. He swallowed.

"Steve, please. Don't do this. Please. We didn't come this far, we didn't struggle this much just for you to die. We didn't fight to get here, to this moment, just for you to be gone in a split second. You can't do this to us. To me. We'll figure something out, I swear Rogers, just please, don't do this." Tony's voice was hoarse, cracking as he plead brokenly to the blonde, forgetting he was in a room full of people, forgetting everything. It was just him and Steve. A pregnant pause passed by.

"Tony. You **know** there isn't another way. Use that big brain of yours. It's impossible." When Steve finally spoke up, his voice was pained, but determined and grim. His mind was made up, and there was no going back. And Tony knew it. Steve was the most stubborn, righteous, kind and lovable idiot in the world. Tony's eyesight grew blurry, and he felt something hot drop onto his hand. A speck of water. "Tony." Steve's voice made the brunette snap back to attention, desperately hoping Steve would agree with him and wait. "...You know, I can't dance."

Stunned to silence, the addressed man stared at the mike incredulously, then gave a watery laugh that ended with something that sounded close to a choked sob. "I'll teach you." Tony answered, and Steve couldn't help but smile wryly at his words.

"That's good. Guess we'll call it a date, okay?" Steve added, and Tony buried his face in his hands. Then he answered with a tight voice.

"Yeah. I'll... I'll make a note of it." The smaller man squeezed the words out of his throat, his trembling smile forced and frail. Tony could hear Steve inhale and exhale, and forced himself to do the same. _Breathe. Breathe, Tony, breathe._

Steve sucked in a breath, then pushed down on the jet's controls, doing a nosedive as he watched the surface of the water getting closer and closer to him. There was only silence. Three words rose from his heart, to his chest, to his throat, and if he opened his mouth, he knew they'd be on the tip of his tongue. So he did.

"Tony."

"Steve, stay with me. _Please._ "

Steve's heart was slamming against his rib cage as he stared at the blue waters he was about to hurtle into, regret throbbing with every beat his heart sang. He felt a queer feeling start on the inner skin of his upper arm. And Steve didn't need to look to know what it was. If he looked, he knew he'd see five words. **Steve, stay with me. Please.** All the blonde could think at the moment was: _NotenoughtimenotenoughtimeOhmygodTony'smysoulmateTonyTonyI'msorryForgiveme--_ Steve had so much to say, so much to ask, so much to do... But there wasn't any time left. So he settled for the most important three words.

"I love you."

And everything went dark as the waters swallowed the jet whole, darkness closing over Steve's head.

\--------------------------------------------

Tony stared blankly at the mike, the three words continuing to repeat over and over in his head. However, a sense of dread quickly snapped him out of it as a weird tingling feeling started on the inside of his upper arm. He yanked off his jacket, squirming his arm out of his shirt, and pulled his arm out, looking at the flesh there. And before his very eyes, in elegantly sprawled calligraphy, three words engraved themselves into his skin in black ink.

**I love you.**

Tony could practically _taste_ the pity in the air as they all saw what was on his arm, after they put the two and the two together. As for him... He felt. Numb. Empty. There was no more Steve. No more of his warm smiles, no more of his amused dancing blue eyes, no more mumbled sleepy greetings in the morning, no more mussed blonde locks in the morning. No more tiredly batting away warm hands when they tried to rouse Tony, no more being called a disgruntled kitten or a grumpy puppy. No more of his ridiculous choice of words substituted for other words he thought were improper (fondue), no more of that pink blush when Tony teased him lightly. No more Steve. It all came crashing down on Tony at once. Everything became dull, and Tony felt like everything was horrendously gray. Calmly and mechanically, the brunette got up, looking detached and unhinged from the world. He left the room without one more word. Tony was never the same again his entire life until he too, died.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves. That is all I will say. I did not prepare myself enough as I wrote this and internally died. Also, in this world, Steve was reincarnated as Captain America, and everything happened like the movie _Captain America: The First Avenger_ did, leading up to here, which takes place in _The Avengers_. Okie? I added some parts, and jesus, this was a long ass chapter. Oh mah god. Oh, it was my birthday yesterday, so treating you guys to a super long chapter! It's exactly 12:34 AM here on August 5th, so. XD Enjoy! Or not, you know. Feels.

Steve was in no mood to deal with _anything_ at all right now. He hated it. He hated this feeling. He hated being _alive_. Why was he alive? Why? Why couldn't he just have died like everyone else? Why couldn't he? A cry of pain and outrage tore out of his lips as he slammed his fist as hard as he could into the punching bag, causing it to burst, and swing off its own hinges. The blonde was breathing harshly, the fury still ebbing like a tide in his heart, rolling around, tormenting him. He was still alive while they weren't. He was still breathing and young while they had died, or was dyng. He had been pathetically frozen in a suspended almost dead mode while everyone else had fought, died, and pained themselves over him. A growl escaped him as he yanked away from the pole that held the bag, stalking off to the storage room to savage another sandbag, trying to purge himself of this ineffable ball of emotions knotted tightly in his chest. This one was what, his fourteenth bag?

The former American soldier started to ram his fist into the bag after it was properly hung, trying to tire his emotions out, to wring them out of his heart. He. Didn't. Want. To. **Think.** He. Didn't. Want. To. **Remember.** Another cry left him, sounding more like a choked sob as he swung again, slamming into the bag again before he stopped, sensing someone else's presence in the room with him. Steve quickly composed himself, before slowly starting to unravel the tape around his hands. "...You know, if you're trying to gain someone's trust, it happens when you're not spying on them sneakily in the corner." He sighed, unwrapping the tape. The pain finally registered in Steve's mind, and his bruised knuckles that had been bruised repeatedly didn't seem pretty. He turned to see Director Fury watching him with his one eye. Steve's eyes were drawn to the black script on the side of the director's neck, nodding to it. "Congrats, sir." He rubbed his own neck. Steve felt a pang of jealously. He instinctively glanced at the inner skin of his arm, where the familiar words danced across his eyes.

**Steve, stay with me. Please.**

The blonde man clenched his eyes shut, pain flaring inside him once more. What had he done to cause his soulmate to plead like this? How had he hurt him? Steve was a beacon of pain and destruction. He brought havoc on everyone he met. The blonde heard the Director clear his throat, and he blinked, then looked up at him. "How may I help you?" He asked dryly, pulling the tape off his his hands. The bruises were still prominent against his skin, and would take a while to heal.

"Have a proposition for you, Captain Rogers." Fury nodded, and Steve blinked, sighing, turning his head to face the other. He wasn't really ready for and soldier like propositions, or anything like that. He opened his mouth to refuse point blank. "A lot of people could die." That made him snap his mouth shut, pressing his lips together in a thin line before nodding with a sigh.

"...What's the proposition, sir?" Steve asked, and the Director kept a well composed face, although he smiled grimly internally.

"You'll be working with a team, Rogers. So get your best I-get-along-with-people hat on and let's move."

\-----------------------

Damn mission. Damn that Stark, causing him to doubt him like this. But he did have a point. There was more to this than just protecting New York from a psycho god. And Steve was about to find out. Tony's hacking skills were a bit too slow for him.

"What are you doing, Mr. Stark?" Fury stormed into the lab, and Tony shrugged.

"Uh, kinda been wondering the same thing about you." Tony fixed Fury with his gaze.

"You're supposed to be locking in on the Tesseract." Fury held his arms behind himself.

"Uh, we are. The model's locked, and we're seeking the signatures now." Bruce looked up, pointing to another monitor.

Tony looked at the screen in front of him as a beeping sound came from it. "What IS phase two?" Tony questioned, but before anyone could answer, Steve stormed in, slamming a some sort of gun prototype onto the table angrily.

"Phase Two is SHIELD uses the cube to make weapons. Sorry, the computer was running a little slow for me." He glanced over Tony briefly, his eyes seeking out the stony Director.

"Rogers, we gathered everything we know about the Tesseract-" Nick headed toward Steve, but Tony interrupted, showing them a screen of some sort of missile.

"I'm sorry Nick. What were you implying?" Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

"I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit." Steve spoke up, and Bruce turned to the incoming Natasha and Thor.

"Did you know about this?" He asked. Natasha turned to Bruce.

"You ever thought of removing yourself from this environment, doctor?" Natasha replied, and Bruce laughed.

"I was doing a pretty good job till now."

"Loki's manipulating you." Natasha stepped forward.

"Ah, and you've been doing what exactly?" Bruce retorted coolly; calm before the storm.

"You didn't come because I bat my eyelashes at you."

"And I'm not leaving because you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction." Bruce said, turning the screen, using his pen to jab at the image.

There was a tense pause. "Because of him." Nick pointed to Thor who had his arms crossed, and he gave Fury a taken aback look.

"Me?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet whose grudge mass leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, we are hopelessly- hilariously -out gunned." Nick paced the room slowly.

"My people would never ruin the peace with this planet." Thor protested.

"But you're not the only people out there, now are you?" Fury turned to Thor. "You're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched. That can't be controlled."

"Like you controlled the cube?" Steve butt in, his lips pressing together thinly.

"Your work is what drew Loki to the Tesseract, and his followers right to it. It is a sign to all the realms that Earth is ready for a higher form of war." Thor stepped forward, also cutting in.

"A higher form? You forced our hand. We had to come up with something-" Fury started, only for Tony to cut him off again.

"A nuclear deterrent. Because that always calms everything right down." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?" Fury glared at the brunette.

Steve intervened. "I'm sure if he was still making weapons, Stark would be neck deep-"

"Hold on, how is this about me?" Tony butt into the conversation, holding a hand out to Steve.

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?" Steve retorted, looking at Tony.

Thor turned to Nick, muttering something angrily. "I though humans were more evolved than this."

"I'm sorry, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?" Fury fixed Thor with his one eyed steely gaze.

Full scale arguments were blowing up. Meanwhile, a taken over by Loki Clint was outside, leading a secret attack on the helicarrier. Of course. Tony placed a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Why shouldn't a guy let off some steam?" Tony said, but Steve swept his arm off his shoulder, snapping out.

"You know damn well why, back off!"

"I'm starting to want you to make me." Tony retorted quietly, staring at the taller man challengingly.

Steve pressed his mouth pressed in a grim line together, and although there were many in the room, his eyes sought out and fixated on the brunette man with an immaculately clean and tended goatee. He wasn't going to lie, they moment he had stepped in, the man had irked him, from his sarcastic drawling voice all the way to his eyes that seemed to say he was invincible. His temper grew short as the said brunette continued to push his buttons. Steve was already sick of this. He didn't want to bring himself to care for the team or anyone and get hurt again. He just wanted to go home already and drown himself in the sorrow of how he couldn't get drunk anymore.

God, why couldn't the Tesseract have STAYED hidden in the fucking god forsaken ocean floor? Just why the fuck did it have to fucking return, damn it? And why couldn't have fucking Loki stayed in fucking Asgard?!

Steve snapped. Loki, Shmoki, he'd deal with that damn god with the others on the team, but Tony, JESUS how that man got on his nerves. He snapped his head up, his blue eyes hard and unyielding as he circled Tony, his steps slow, sure, and deliberate as he made his way in front of the unflinching at ease man. He stopped right in front of him, he height causing him to stare down at the shorter, his lip twisting into a slight ugly snarl. He wanted to see how fast he could rile this man up, get under his skin, see him unconcealed from that cool facade. He wanted to see his eyes flashing with anger, his fury unrestrained and crackling. He wanted to see just how much he had to press to get Tony to snap.

"Tony Stark." Steve's voice said, his voice cool but slightly mocking, and the addressed man immediately stiffened, immediately finding a dislike for that voice, but otherwise made no move. "...Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?" Steve mused, raising an eyebrow. Tony laughed at that, and took a step forward, not the type to back down, which surprised Steve, but he hid it well.

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Steve's lip curled again, and Tony gave a little smirk. Natasha shrugged at that.

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you." Steve snarled, and Tony looked away briefly before coming back, but the snark came a mere two seconds as soon as Steve finished.

"I think I would just _cut_ the wire." Tony mused, raising an eyebrow, but his eyes were glittering dangerously.

"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero." Steve snapped, detecting the anger brewing, and felt triumphant.

"A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle." Tony snapped back, stepping a bit closer till they were face to face, the others arguing over their own things.

"Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds." Steve narrowed his eyes, his fists clenching, and the brunette grinned savagely.

"You humans are so petty. And tiny." Thor laughed out loud. Banner's sudden outburst was what silenced them. Nick's hand started to itch toward the gun at his side.

"Dr. Banner. Put the scepter down." Steve warned, and the tension flew out the window when there was a beeping alarm, saying the Tesseract had been located. Thor said something about the Tesseract belonging in Asgard, and Tony turned to leave, but Steve grabbed his arm, knowing what he was thinking. "You're not going alone!" He said.

"What, you going to stop me?" Tony turned, snapping, and they came face to face once again.

"Put on the suit and let's find out." Steve bit out.

"No."

"Put. On. The suit."

The fight broke up almost as soon as it started when the helicarrier rocked from an explosion, that sent Tony and Steve toppling to the floor. Gasping, Steve scrambled up and reached out a hand, and the other took it without thinking as the blonde hauled him back up.

"Put on the suit." Steve said.

"Yup!" Tony took off to get his suit, and Steve followed. "Engine 3. I'll meet you there." Steve nodded then took off. He struggled his way to the engine, making it.

"Stark!" A pause. "Stark, I'm here!" He shouted, looking around outside.

"Good." Tony blasted by in his suit, stopping at the engine. "Let's see what we got." After muttering to himself for a bit, he turned to Cap. "I need you to go to that pension control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position." He then turned, working on dislodging the debris. Steve stepped back a few steps, then suddenly swung himself outside and up into the place where the control panel was, pulling out the panel before silently groaning to himself. Was this really happening? "What's going on in there?" Tony asked, and Steve sighed exasperatedly, gesturing wildly to the panel.

"Seems to run on some form of electricity." Steve responded. A pause.

"Well, you're not wrong." Tony answered in a mutter, shoving more debris out of the way.

"Okay, the relays are attached! What's our next move?" Steve asked, shoving the panel back into it's original place.

"Even if I clear the routers, it won't reengage without a jump. I'm going to have to get in there and push."

Steve frowned. "If that thing gets up to speed, you'll get shredded!" He shouted, glancing around.

"That stater control unit can reverse the polarity long enough to disengage mag level and-"

"Speak English!" Steve interrupted Tony's rambling, and the brunette, although Steve couldn't see, gave the blonde a withering look.

"See that red lever?" Steve glanced over, seeing it. "It'll slow the routers down long enough for me to get out. Stand by it. Wait for my word." Tony said, and Steve crouched, throwing himself over to the other side of the breach. But things were never that easy. Of course? Why would it be? The universe hated them. Steve groaned as he spotted two people with guns coming over. Great. _Shit._

Meanwhile, thanks to a certain brain washed Clint, the other engines were going on shut down, and Nick spoke into the communication device. "Stark, we're losing altitude!"

"Yup, noticed." Was the response, and the brunette locked into position, starting to push against the routers with all his- or his suit's -might. Steve, who had managed to throw one man off the helicarrier entirely was in the process of battling the other remaining guard, lost his footing, and managed to refrain from falling by grabbing onto something, hanging in the air. Ow. That was gonna leave a bruise. Could things get any worse? "Cap, hit the lever!" Steve internally groaned. He just had to ask, didn't he?

"I need a minute here!" He shouted, struggling his way back onto the damn helicarrier.

"Lever! Now!" Tony said, and gritting his teeth, Steve crawled his way to the lever, and for fuck's sake, his earlier opponent just STILL had to be here and was shooting at him. Great. The blonde forged on, cursing his luck the whole time. Tony's metal encased hands came apart from the router, that was going at menacingly fast speeds now, and his eyes widened in alarm. His backside crashed into another router with a harsh clang. "Uh-oh." Tony said, right before he was pulled down, the metal of his suit catching and grating him against the smaller router. Steve reached for the lever just then, yanking it down, and the brunette managed to come out in a nick of time. He paused for a brief moment before he blasted off to where Steve was, and slammed head on into the remaining person shooting at Steve, both of them crashing to the floor. Tony closed his eyes, and didn't move when the clumping of footsteps that was unmistakably Steve's came toward him.

"...You did good, Stark." Tony's eyes opened, although Steve couldn't see behind the mask, and he stared up at Steve, who offered him a little smile, stretching a hand out. The brunette reached up, taking his offered hand gratefully, allowing himself to be pulled up.

"Thanks, Cap. You did too." He nodded his thanks, but Steve's smile disappeared when Nick's voice filtered in.

"Coulson's down."

\----------------------------

Steve made his way to where Tony had taken off too after Nick's little speech. They stayed quiet for a bit. "Was he married?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"...No. There was a, uh, cellist. I think." Tony responded, staring out into space.

"I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man."

"He was an idiot."

"Why? For believing?"

"For taking on Loki alone."

"He was doing his job.

"He was out of his league. He should have waited, he should have—"

"Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony."

"Right. Heard that before." Tony said sarcastically, pushing past Steve, showing him his back.

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

"We are NOT soldiers!" Tony snapped, his head rising to meet Steve's gaze. He paused to compose himself after his outburst. "I am not marching to Fury's fife."

"Neither am I. He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. But right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done." Steve responded, shrugging.

"You don't know what it's like! Coulson... He... He didn't deserve to damn die like that! You weren't even that close to Coulson! I knew him! I was... I was close." Tony stared down at the floor, savagely kicking at it. "Don't talk about him so casually like that. He... He wasn't a soldier." The blonde stared, then burst out laughing, but it was mirthless. Tony stared at him until he stopped.

"Think I don't know what it's like to lose someone? Lose everything?" The blonde turned to Tony, his voice flat. The brunette blinked. "Why don't you try losing your best friend when you could have saved him, losing men _YOU_ were responsible for bringing home? You try breaking the heart of a woman you sincerely liked, disappearing on her and your friends when they needed you the most, only to turn up a full whopping 70 years later remembering everything only to know your friends are either dead, or old and dying, and you've yet to die, short from suicide. You try being thrown into a world where you don't belong and expected to adjust to it. Once you've done all that or more, _then_ you can come lecture me about not knowing real loss." He said, staring out into the open, anywhere but Tony. It had finally spilled out in a rush. Then he felt someone touch his cheek hesitantly, and he started, looking up, seeing that it was the brunette. It was comforting. Steve let out a little sound in his throat which he didn't mean to let out, and Tony's face softened, hugging Steve to him tightly.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I forgot about that." Steve let out another choked sound, embracing Tony back.

"S'okay. Not saying Coulson's death was any less important. Just... Just don't say I don't know loss." Tony nodded silently, rubbing his back a bit soothingly. It was a while before they both split apart.

"...I don't know too much about loss. But I know a heck of a lot about betrayal and fuck ups." The brunette mused, running his fingers through his hair, sighing. Steve frowned. He didn't like the sounds of that. He'd read about... That time, and all, and how the arc reactor came to be, but Tony had never talked about it to anyone. Or, as far as he knew.

"...Hey. I don't know much about betrayals. But I think whoever betrayed you did was a huge idiot. Probably the biggest one in the world. That's a hard title to claim, but seems like he's won first place." At Steve's voice, the addressed man looked up, then gave a little grin.

"Thanks..." He mused. Then he paused. "Loki... He made it personal." Tony frowned, starting to think.

"That's not the point."

"That is the point. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live. Why?"

"To tear us apart."

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. He want to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it, he wants an audience!"

"Right. We caught his act in Stuttgart."

"Yeah, but that's just previews. This, this is Opening Night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered—"

Steve gave Tony a look, and it hit them both at the same time. Tony groaned, rubbing his face.

"Son of a bitch."

\-----------------------

They all suited up, and Clint, Natasha, and Steve walked into a quinjet, only for the person inside stepping up and shaking his head. "Hey, you guys aren't supposed to be here-" Steve tilted his head to one side, cutting him off. "Son." Steve felt his lip twitch into a smile. "Just don't." Then they were off. To Stark Towers. They were going to take down that Loki bastard once and for all.

\-----------------------

Tony made it to his place, and after failing to destroy the damn device that was to open the portal, he grit his teeth, finally lighting down on the platform, and his machines took his suit off as he walked inside, watching Loki follow him in as he made his way to his bar.

"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity." Loki snickered, to which Tony casually shook his head, making his way to the bar, at ease.

"Actually, I'm planning to threaten you."

"You should have left your armor on for that." Loki smiled wryly.

"Yeah, it's seen a bit of mileage and you got the, uh, Glow-Stick of Destiny. Would you like a drink?"

"Stalling me won't change anything."

"No, no, no; threatening. No drink? You sure? I'm having one." Tony grabbed a glass and a bottle.

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?"

"The Avengers." Loki looked confused, and Tony felt personally insulted. "It's what we call ourselves, sorta like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing." He started to pour the drink, sipping at it.

"Yes, I've met them." He smirked. Tony wanted to punch his smug little face in. But if he hadn't learned the concept smile and wave from all the time with the press, he didn't know what he learned.

"Yeah. Takes us a while to get any traction. But let's do a head count here." He smiled, pausing, before tilting his head. "Your brother, the demigod; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend (Tony could only imagine Steve's face at this)-" Loki looked away, and Tony took the chance to scoop up the bracelets on the counter in front of him, sneakily attaching them to his wrists. "-A man with breathtaking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins. And you, big fella... You've managed to piss off _every_ single one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan. When they come… And they will… They'll come for you." Tony started to take a few steps forward from around the bar, before stopping.

"I have an army."

"We have a Hulk."

"I thought the beast had wandered off."

"You're missing the point. There's no throne. There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes, and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."

"How will your friends have time for me…" Loki walked nearer to Tony, grinning a little ferally. "...When they are so busy fighting you?" Loki raised his scepter, tapping it on Tony's chest in order to control his mind, but the arc reactor, the blessed and cursed hunk of metal that kept Tony alive, prevented it from happening. The god frowned. "This usually works."

Tony shrugged. He couldn't help but be a bit smug. "Performance issues. It's not uncommon, one out of five—" Infuriated by his words, Loki grabbed the brunette by his throat, throwing him aside in anger. Tony hit the floor, and pushed himself up with some difficulty. "Jarvis, any time now." He mumbled under his breath.

"You will all fall before me!" Tony didn't have much to say, considering he was being choked.

"Deploy!" He shouted hoarsely as Loki lifted him by the throat, and he gripped the god's hands with his own, trying to get them off of him. "DEPLOY!" He shouted again as he was thrown _through_ the god damn glass window of his penthouse, but managed to employ the bracelets that controlled the Mark-7, causing it to sweep past Loki at top speed and quickly formed around Tony JUST before he hit the ground, allowing him to fly back up in front of the other, the people below him on the streets staring in shock or screaming.

"...And there's one other person you pissed off." Tony snarled through his Iron Man suit. "His name was Phil." Loki made to raise his scepter before Tony sent a blast propelling him back. Just then, with a ripping sound of some sort, the portal opened, and the Chitauri poured out. Tony stared. "...Right. The army." He groaned, blasting off with some of the Chitauri hot at his tail. Natasha finally had made it here with Clint and Steve, and after a snark from Tony, they shot the Chitauri off his tail, but Jarvis' concerned voice cut in.

"Sir, we have more incoming."

"Fine. Let's keep 'em occupied." Tony said, but it was to no avail, when Loki, in the process of fighting Thor, shot one of the quinjet's engines that held Steve, Clint, and Natasha. The archer managed to keep it stable enough for it to crash onto the ground right side up, and Steve hopped out, as did Clint and Natasha, and the blonde grimaced, his shield on his arm.

"We gotta get back up there." Then the Leviathan showed up. "Stark, are you seeing this?" Steve muttered into the headpiece.

"Seeing, still working on believing." Tony replied, sighing. "Is Banner here yet?"

"Banner?"

"Just keep me posted." Steve nodded, grimacing, his eyes scanning the streets to the screaming survillions, sighing, and Clint turned to him.

"Go. We got things here." Steve blinked.

"Sure you can hold them off?"

Clint clicked on a button in his bow, grinning. "Captain. It'd be my genuine pleasure." He said, shooting the Chitauri. Steve nodded, running off, leaving Clint and Natasha to it. They fought the first wave together.

"This is just like Budapest all over again." Natasha said to Clint, who replied calmly as he shot the enemy, as if he was making a grocery list.

"You and I remember Budapest very differently!"

\---------------------------

Steve was... Well. Steve was taking care of a few things, including getting a few policemen to listen to him. "You need men in those buildings. There are people inside that are going to be running right into the line of fire. You take them to the basement or the subway, you keep them off the streets. I need a perimeter as far back as 39th."

"Why the hell should I take orders from you?"

Just then, the some of the Chitauri came for Steve, and he smoothly disengaged them easily with his shield, jerking the policeman into action, who followed his orders exactly. "I need men in those buildings. We're gonna set a perimeter as far as 39th street-"

\------------------------------

Tony plowed through the city, managing to engage in a huge beast, and he blinked, talking to Jarvis. "Well, we got his attention. What the hell was step two?" He then blasted off, the Leviathan snapping at where he was a split second ago. Then he got the call he'd been waiting for.

"Stark? We got him." Tony grinned at Steve's voice.

"Banner?"

"Just like you said."

"Then tell him to suit up. I'm bringing the party to you." He blasted off faster, heading toward the coordinates he had tracked the team to be, being chased by a Leviathan.

"I-I don't see how that's a party." Natasha said, frowning as she stared, stammering briefly.

"Dr. Banner! Now might be a really good time for you to get angry." Steve said, also staring.

"That's my secret, Captain." He started forward, a lone man in front of a huge Leviathan. "I'm always angry." Bruce grinned wryly, suddenly turning into the Hulk in a blink of an eye, socking the Leviathan right in the face with a bone shaking roar. Together, they stood back to back. As a team.

"Call it, Captain." Tony's voice came into Steve's ears, and he stared at the portal. They god damn portal.

"All right, listen up! Until we can close that portal, priority is containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash."

Clint turned to Tony, grinning. "Wanna give me a lift?"

"Right. Better clench up, Legolas." He grabbed Clint, blasting him up into the sky.

"Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning, light the bastards up." Thor nodded, flying off on his hammer. "Nat, you'll take the ground with me, keep the fighting here. And Hulk?" Hulk turned to Steve with a grunt, waiting. The blonde held up a finger. _"Smash."_

The Hulk grinned, before doing exactly that with a monstrous roar of glee.

\--------------------

 _This is the most horrible idea I will ever think of._ Tony thought, but then cleared his throat, facing an oncoming Leviathan. "Jarvis, you ever hear the tale of Jonah?"

A heartbeat later. "Ah, I wouldn't consider him a role model, sir." However, Tony didn't listen, and divebombed straight into the Leviathan's mouth, then ripped out the other end, going off balance in the air and crashing into the ground.

All was going fairly well, despite his injuries. Until the fucking Council decided to drop a damn nuke on them. Tony groaned at Nick's words, blasting off, and then met the nuke head on, latching on under the nuke, and after talking to Captain he blew straight into the portal. He then passed out, letting his body fall from the portal. Steve counted the seconds, searching for a sign, anything, but when it didn't come, he looked down, his voice soft. "Close it." But just as Natasha closed it, something fell out.

"...Son of a gun." Steve said, staring.

Hulk took a running leap, grabbing Tony from midair and dropped him down safe on the ground, and Thor ripped his face plate off. Tony seemed dead, and Steve knelt down beside Tony. The blonde man swallowed, a strange lump in his throat. He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he bent over, planting a kiss onto Tony's still lips.

_You saved New York, Tony. Now save yourself. Open your eyes._

Steve pulled away, and just as he'd given up, Hulk roared with fury, and that seemed to either have jumpstarted Tony's heart, or it startled him the hell awake. "What the hell? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me." His eyes were flickering everywhere, and Steve grinned, his gaze going from the floor to Tony.

"...I did." A brief pause later. "And we won."

Tony stared. And then his brain short circuited. He was having a hard time processing what Steve had just said. _Captain America, aka Steve Rogers, had **kissed** him?_ "Well. Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it." Tony babbled when he finally managed to get his mouth to work correctly again. "Geez, Steve, the least you could do was at least wait til I was actually _awake_ to kiss me, not-" Steve shut him up by pressing another kiss into his mouth, which worked pretty effectively, and even thoroughly dazed the brunette.

"Happy? You know, you owe me a date after this. I normally don't kiss people unless I've dated them and liked them." Steve said, his tone teasing, and Tony blinked, and gave his brilliant reply.

"What?" In his defense, Steve looked gorgeous battle worn.

"You. Owe me. A date." Steve said slowly, and the brunette blinked again, then gave him a weak thumbs up with a wide grin, to which the blonde returned with a smile of his own.

"You got it. When? Where?" Steve rolled his eyes as Tony spoke up.

"Considering most of the place needs a little fixing up, say your place, Saturday or something?"

"Sounds good to me."

Thor, who most certainly was _not_ grinning, glanced at the tower. "If you both are done planning out a courting, we're not finished yet." Bruce was hard to tell if he was grinning or not, but it most likely was.

" …And then shawarma after?" Tony piped up, and it brought him immense pleasure as a bonus later, seeing Loki's face when the Avengers stood in front of him, as the victors.

"...If it's all the same to you... I'd like that drink now." Loki smiled a bit sheepishly, and Tony, just being Tony, chuckled.

"Sure." And, believe it or not, he gave it to him.

Few days had passed since then, and repairs were going good, and Tony couldn't. Stop. Smiling. Because hey, who doesn't like seeing repairs going good? That, and he had a date. Strange, how fighting together could make them forget their old bickerings and start fresh. He was sure Steve thought it was a bit weird, to be dating before they were even friends, but hey, who said Tony was complaining? Things were all going okay. And of course, Thor took the Tesseract, and it was pretty fucking awesome to see the Council's faced. After all, they had launched a fucking nuke into Manhattan. Which, Steve also had something to say about, considering the nuke had almost taken out his love interest. Tony, despite having had damage done to his pent house and tower and all, was happy. Who wouldn't be? He had great new friends, team mates, comrades, who were all moving into his tower, by the way. And things were even better, now that Steve was moving in too. Things were great. Things were looking up.

\-----------------------

"...Tony." The brunette shuddered as his name fell away from Steve's lips in a pleading call, and he eagerly complied, leaning forward and kissing him, their mouths moving in sync, the kiss deepening immensely. Steve's large hands fluttered, hovering, trailing up Tony's arms, feeling the sinewy muscles contracting and tensing under his hands, full of power, but it was strangely comforting. Steve shifted under Tony, arching up with a little groan when the said man's lips trailed hot and open mouthed kisses down his jaw, and to his neck, sucking into a certain spot on his neck across from his pulsepoint. He trailed even lower, planting kisses on Steve's collarbone, lingering at the indention in it. He then trailed even lower, and his mouth found the skin of Steve's stomach right above the hem of his jeans, nipping at the toned muscles there, his tongue taking its time in tasting the skin there. The blonde's shirt slowly rode up farther as Tony's hands held Steve's hips, and the other's hands clenched down on the brunette's shoulders.

"...Ahem. This is very awkward, but strangely seriously a turn on at the same time." The blonde jumped, his face red, and he gave a groan either from the embarrassment, or the fact that Tony ignored the voice for one more second to nip at Steve's stomach again and grind his chin against the blonde's member subtly, before he sighed, looking up, giving a grinning Clint a flat look.

"Ever heard of knocking, you cockblocker? Unless it's a life and death situation, I'm going to kill you, Clint. We're busy." Tony said, annoyed, a disgruntled sound leaving his throat as he stared Clint down, who remained pretty unfazed. Steve on the other hand, was beat red, and he looped his legs around Tony's waist, his arms wrapping around the brunette's neck, his hands pressed flat on his back with his face buried into his lover's shoulder, out of view. Tony couldn't move, glaring at Clint as Steve clung to him like a koala, who merely just grinned back. "Well?" Clint shrugged.

"If you call having a little movie night with the team not a life and death situation, then I better start running." Tony gave him a flat look, managing to flick the bird at him before he turned his head, whispering to Steve.

"Do you want to...?" Steve briefly pulled back to give him a nod, and Tony laughed softly, pressing another quick kiss onto Steve's lips. "Get the fuck out of here bird boy, before I get a cook to pluck you and cook you up for some dinner." Clint grinned, giving Tony a thumbs up, then disappeared from the doorway, the door shutting after him. "Embarrassed you got caught bottoming, Rogers?" Tony mused, and Steve shot the brunette a weak glare.

"Shut up, Stark. You bottom as much as me and-" Steve's words were interrupted by his own moan, arching up again, seeking friction as Tony licked a hot stripe down the blonde's neck combined with a nip.

"You were saying?" Tony smirked, and the other writhed from under him, his eyes glinting mischievously. The blonde's mind was too frayed to even scrape together and remember how to _breathe_ , much less find a way to remember how to work his mouth and form words.

"I hate you." Steve gasped out when he finally had collected his thoughts enough to talk, but his trembling body that clung to Tony said otherwise, and the brunette chuckled, amused, before his face softened, turning serious.

"...That's too bad. I was- and am -in love with you." The blonde man froze after hearing the words, and Tony waited, his heart fluttering like a hummingbird's wings, suddenly nervous, his liquid chocolate eyes vulnerable, holding a fragile flicker of light; hope. Steve pulled back, his icy blue eyes locking with Tony's, searching, and a wide smile broke out over his face, and he let his arms completely pull away from Tony, his back pressing into the mattress below him, although his legs kept Tony in his place. The brunette was surprised when Steve pulled away, starting to frown and panic a bit, thinking he'd said it too soon, and opened his mouth to hurriedly take it back, but his mouth closed again when Steve's hands pressed into his cheek. One thumb brushed lovingly across his cheekbone, while the other stroked his lips, caressing his face. And Steve's face couldn't be described as anything but loving as he beamed at Tony.

"I love you too, Tony." He said, his voice as soft, warm, and liquid as his eyes, holding Tony's gaze. The addressed man let out a choked sound from his throat, and the weight on his chest seemed to disappear, and he jerked forward, kissing Steve with a new kind of urgency, his hands now moving across his body, his fingers intent on memorizing every inch of skin it could come into contact with, and Steve returned his passion with his own that matched in its ferocity. It was Tony who pulled away reluctantly, regretting it immediately when the other whined in protest.

"Sorry to break it up, but we have a little movie night to attend, Rogers. You know how the team gets when a good movie's interrupted." Tony said, panting against Steve's shoulder, who grumbled a complaint, reluctantly releasing Tony who was equally reluctant, and they got up, pulling themselves upright. "Righto then. Ready to go?"

"And face Clint? No, not really." The blonde responded a bit dryly, and Tony laughed, pushing Steve in front of him as he started out the door.

"Nobody's ready to face that bird brain, except maybe Natasha." He responded, though his tone was affectionate, and Steve sighed, silently agreeing. Apparently, they were watching _Brave_. To which Tony made a comment about how Merida was a literal hybrid of Natasha and Clint, which also earned him elbows to the ribs by the two master assassins. Not that he felt even a twinge. Steve deftly blocked their blows, pulling Tony protectively into his hug.

\------------------------

Usually, it wasn't this bad. Usually, the enemy wasn't still as thick as flies when Steve was bone exhausted. Usually when even Steve had grown tired and weary, most of the enemy had been taken out. Not this time. They were still just as strong as the first wave. Things didn't look too good. Steve beheaded another of these damn reptilian mutant creatures with his shield, looking around. Everyone didn't look good. But his eyes desperately sought out for one person. Tony. There. He saw him. Blasting every mutant around him within a 10 feet mile radius of him. Steve fought his way toward him, and soon, they were back to back, working together.

"Steve, things aren't looking too good! These things just don't stop! I had Jarvis do an area scan... There seems to be some sort of endless supply of these creatures coming out from some sort of portal that's on the ground!" Steve listened. Portal. Another damn portal. "Luckily, it seems unstable, but it needs a nuclear blast to get it to collapse in on itself. We'll need the nuke. Just like then." A flash of memories assaulted Steve's mind, and he felt his heart twist painfully. No.

"Tony, you are not flying into that portal." He said firmly, and Tony spoke into the headpiece again with a sigh.

"What other choice do we have? We can't keep fighting like this and you know it!" Steve frowned, wanting to protest, but he knew he was right. He swallowed all other words, and nodded mutely. New York needed to be protected.

"...Be careful." Tony grinned.

"When am I not?" He took off into the sky, out of sight. Steve turned to the others in the team.

"Alright, change of plan. Further up, there's a portal on the ground. We're covering Tony as he flies in and drops the nuke in and closes it." Steve's voice choked up slightly, but he kept his face blank. The others on the team nodded, taking their places, fighting their way to the portal. Steve couldn't help but feel the stone in the pit of his stomach. Something was going to go horribly wrong.

Tony was waiting for the nuke. He had received call that it had been launched, and each second felt like an hour. One more second where things could go horribly wrong. He glanced anxiously down for Steve, found him fighting, and felt his heart pick up speed from both pride and love. If anything, Tony would die for Steve. He'd do anything for him. Anything at all. He looked up, and saw the nuke flying towards him at a high speed, and he prepared himself, and as it whooshed past him, he latched onto it, pushing with all his strength, altering its course straight down. As he stared at the dark portal, he swallowed, closing his eyes. "Steve." A pause. "I'll be back. Love you." Then, the portal swallowed Tony and the nuke, and the connection between the team and Tony disappeared. Then, without warning, the portal suddenly disappeared into thin air, and all the remaining mutant lizards screeched ear splittingly, as if they were in pain, and disintegrated. It was then when Tony felt an odd tingly in one arm, and he knew what it would say.

**Be careful.**

Tony's eyes widened. _Oh god. Steve. I'm so sorry. I'm going to die. I love you. So damn much._ He closed his eyes, letting the sudden agony of all his memories, even his past life take him, and the combined force of the nuke and the portal tore him apart.

\-----------------------

The damn portal had taken Tony with it.

Steve clenched his fist so tightly, he felt like he would break his own hand. Tony was going to come back. He'd come ripping out of the closed portal, he'd do SOMETHING to get it to spit him out. He would come back. He had said he would. Then, he felt a horrid tingling start on the outside skin of his upper arm. _No. No. It can't be. No._ Steve was in a state of denial. He suddenly dropped his shield, and a tear in his uniform near the very spot from a mutant lizard's claw easily showed the elegant black script across his bicep.

**I'll be back. Love you.**

God. No. No, not again, he couldn't lose him again. The pain suddenly slammed into the blonde full force, and by god, it was crippling. Steve was suddenly hit from the memories of his previous life, leaving him gasping for air, and he dropped to his knees. He remembered _everything_. Tony. Tony. No. His love. His soulmate. His life.

"...Why? Why him? Why me?" Steve looked up at the sky, tears filling his eyes, trailing down his cheeks, feeling holes swimming in his vision. Just why? Why them? "TELL ME! WHY? TELL ME WHY I HAVE TO LOSE HIM AGAIN! JUST WHY?!" The blonde screamed at the sky, all his torment, rage, and pain echoing across the empty sky... Empty. Tony. Everything went black.


End file.
